And a Wonderful New Year to You (Courtesy of Steph Bowe)

I am completely and unabashedly lifting this entire post from my friend Steph Bowe's blog (whom I think is a brilliant writer) - because I couldn't have said it better myself. And because I'm lazy.

Have a lovely night, even if you're just staying at home. I hope you have a wonderful 2010. I hope you feel better about yourself. I hope you feel alive. I hope that good things happen to you, and I hope that when the inevitable bad things happen you can handle them and learn a lesson and move on. I hope you know you're not alone and I hope you spend plenty of time with your family and/or friends and I hope you write more and get a seven-figure book deal. I hope next year no more celebrities die and I hope you get an iPhone if you want one. Or maybe a pony. I hope someone writes a song for you on Valentines Day that's a bit like Hey There Delilah, and I hope they have a good singing voice, or at least one better than mine. I hope that you accept yourself the way you are, and figure out that losing 20 pounds isn't going to magically make you love yourself. I hope you read a lot. I hope you don't have to almost die to figure out how valuable life is. I hope you find the perfect nail polish/digital camera/home/life partner. I hope you stop being jealous of others. I hope you feel good, about yourself and the people around you and the world. I hope you eat heaps of salt and vinegar chips because they're the best kind. I hope you accomplish all your hopes and dreams and aspirations and are blissfully happy and get married to Edward Cullen/George Clooney/Megan Fox/Angelina Jolie (delete whichever are inappropriate) and ride a pretty white horse into the sunset and I hope it's all sweet and wonderful because you deserve it because you did well this year in the face of sparkly vampires/great evil/low self-esteem.

And I absolutely am not going to mention that Steph hasn't yet turned 16, that her first novel has sold in Australia and Spain, and that US publishers are nuts if they don't snap it up soon.

Here's to David Nicholson and a Few Good Men

You can read my friend David Nicholson's short story,"A Few Good Men," (which first appeared in Stress City: A Big Book of Fiction by 51 DC Guys) in Best African American Fiction 2010, from One World Ballantine. The stories were chosen by guest editor Nikki Giovanni. (I think I first met David over a computer article he wrote in the Washington Post.)

Here's the review from the Library Journal:

The African American experience is not monolithic but woven by occurrences that bind members of the expansive culture. This second annual anthology captures this diversity and follows the exhilarating debut edition by highlighting stories of Saturday barbershop lessons (David Nicholson's "A Few Good Men"), the challenges of upward mobility (Desiree Cooper's "Night Coming"), and generational divisions (Amina Gautier's "Been Meaning To Say"). The most beautiful and touching composition is award winner Chris Abani's "Three Letters, One Song & a Refrain," in which a young woman reflects on her spiritual battles in a war-torn country. Early (English, African, & African American studies, Washington Univ. in St. Louis) and this year's guest editor, poet Giovanni (Bicycles: Love Poems), impressively highlight quality urban fiction with Glenville Lovell's "Out of Body." VERDICT Featuring recognized and fresh names, this series easily rivals Breaking Ice: An Anthology of Contemporary African-American Fiction (1990) and will appeal to all lovers of contemporary short story collections.

When It's Very Very Cold ...

... this is what Sara looks like.

Doesn't this make you want to come visit Vermont?

Yes, this is really me. No, I'm not a native Vermonter.

Darrow's in Blairstown, Awaiting a Home

Darrow is a four-year-old neutered male Australian cattle dog weighing 67 pounds (I never met a cattle dog weighing quite this much, so I'm suspecting he's a mix). He loves to play fetch, is affectionate and likes rides in the car. Best for an active owner or family!

He's available for adoption from Aunt Marys Dog House in Montclair, NJ. To meet Darrow in Blairstown email Auntmarysdoghouse@yahoo.com or call 908-362-1333.

What I'm Grateful for Tonight

A strong and immediate sense of self-preservation that led me to hit the accelerator when the car beside me on I-84 began to swerve

The vagaries of fate or the other driver's reaction that caused her to swerve left instead of right

My Subaru, its four-wheel drive, and wonderful handling

Cell phones, which apparently are equipped with GPS locators that tell 911 personnel exactly where you are on the interstate

My lovely amazingly powerful flashlight my brother gave me

The Italian truck driver who stopped to go to the aid of the other car's driver and the nice guy and his doctor girlfriend who also stopped

The New York state police, who arrived promptly

Whatever allowed this woman, who apparently encountered a sheen of ice on the overpass we were on, to slam into the guard rail head on and richochet back to the guard rail on the other side and step out of her demolished car in her heading-to-Christmas-eve-dinner outfit without a hair on her head out of place

And that I could climb back into my intact car and continue home unscathed, well aware of all the things I have to be grateful for.

Twelve Days of Editor Responses

From a writer friend who shall remain nameless (at said friend's request):

 On the first day of Christmas, my potential editor said to me: "Soulful debut" (thank you, please buy the damn book)

On the second day of Christmas my next potential editor said to me: "Heartbreakingly hard to sell" (don't talk to me about heartbreakingly hard ... try writing the sucker)

On the third day of Christmas another editor said to me: "Sadness overwhelms the beautiful prose" (did you read Push? Cold Mountain? Hello? My book has a happy ending, for God's sake, with a damn dog as a secondary character...what more do you want?)

On the fourth day of Christmas a morally conflicted editor said to me: "Very difficult decision" (not as difficult as me cyber stalking you for the rest of your life...)

On the fifth day of Christmas my potential editor said to me: "Do people want to read troubling material during troubling times?" (well, we can't all read Twilight)

On the sixth day of Christmas my potential editor said to me: "Is this a book for critical acclaim or regional crossover appeal?" (can't you have both? see Day 3)

On the seventh day of Christmas my potential editor said to me: "Truly extraordinary" (thank you, please buy the damn book)

On the eighth day of Christmas my potential editor said to me: "Not convinced I'd be able to get it the attention it deserves" (this is apparently editor code for I think this is the worst thing I've ever read in my life)

On the ninth day of Christmas my potential editor said to me: "Present tense narration lacks the warmth of the past narration" (so, in other words, I should cut out half of the book)

On the tenth day of Christmas my potential editor said to me: "Story a bit slow in terms of pacing" (I will add back in the vampire, Presidential assassination, and drug warlord possessed by aliens subplots.)

On the eleventh day of Christmas my potential editor said to me: "I love the dog" (again, please buy the damn book then)

On the twelfth day of Christmas my potential editor said to me: "Not confident that the novel was quite fresh or distinct enough"  (I think this is editor code for It's not Twilight....).

Ta-da! Merry Christmas to all! And to all a good book deal.

Note: This isn't me, guys, honest! This is by a writer friend who must remain nameless until the book sells - then it will be part of a funny road-to-publication story. I have a book deal, with Shaye Areheart Books, and a wonderful editor, John Glusman, and had an appallingly smooth path getting there.

Tune in for Reed Farrel Coleman

On Dec. 23 NPR's book critic Maureen Corrigan named Reed Farrel Coleman's THE JAMES DEANS one of the Best Books of 2009. (This book won the Barry for best paperback and Shamus and Anthony awards for best paperback originals. Click here for excerpt.)

Tuesday, Dec. 22, listen for author Reed Farrel Coleman live in studio on Sirius/XM’s Book Channel (XM 163, Sirius 117), in a program called "Cover to Cover Live," at 3 pm EST. He'll talk about TOWER, the 2009 novel he coauthored with Ken Bruen.

Why I Love Quinn Cummings

It's because of posts like these. She is the George Plimpton of awkward and sometime bizarre social situations (who knew you should take a cooler along on a quest to buy a certain something your inquisitive daughter has her heart set on dissecting?). She is the Walter Mitty of brave attempts to break out of her structured and routine world (which can lead to her fleeing a restaurant after her daughter reported that ants flowed out of the kitchen faucet instead of water). She is the Erma Bombeck of stay-at-home moms, who can come home from an outing feeling vaguely self-congratulatory and then discover she has her shorts on inside out.

She is all of us, only more so, and she is brave enough to write about it, not just in her blog, but in a book as well.

Dogs Need Homes During Christmas, Too

These little guys are Australian cattle dog - boxer mixes and are two months old and ready for a home. Yeah, it's a good thing I'm not in the Nashville area now, because I adore heelers and boxers, too. They'll likely have a great disposition. Email wcacangels@yahoo.com, call 615-790-5590, or go visit the Williamson County Animal Shelter at 138 Claude Yates Dr., Franklin, Tennessee (next to Franklin High School on Hillsboro Road). Adoption fee is $65, which includes shots and neutering.

The Squirrel and Me

It got cold recently here in Vermont - very cold, very quickly. It dropped in a few days from 50s(F) to single digits at night. So a squirrel apparently decided to move into my attic. Unfortunately his favorite place to play and eat is in the space right behind the headboard of my bed.

So around 1 am I start hearing loud banging. He is playing, I suppose. Maybe he has a friend over. I envision them cavorting with a squirrel-sized Twister game. This I can handle. It's annoying, but not dreadful. It seems vaguely bucolic, something you endure for the privilege of living on a dirt road in small-town Vermont.

But then he decides to start gnawing on something, a hard-shelled nut perhaps - approximately a foot from my ear, with only a layer of sheetrock between us. This I cannot take. It is akin to having a mate crack nuts in bed beside you as you are trying to sleep. I bang on the wall, then go down the hallway to the other end of the attic and shine a flashlight through a small opening into his part of the attic, to impart the idea This is not your house and I am a large scary person who can come get you.

By now I am wide awake, the dogs looking at me sleepily with that look that says Humans are strange creatures. I turn on my bedside lamp and start reading a book. When the gnawing gets louder I bang on the wall and yell Be quiet, Squirrel! and he stops.

For a while.

Then he starts again, surreptitiously, quietly, like a child unwrapping a candy bar and eating it beneath the covers: gnaw gnaw gnaw. Then he gets a little louder: gnaw gnaw gnaw. Then he gets really loud: GNAW GNAW GNAW.

I bang on the wall and yell and he stops, but a few minutes later begins to gnaw, cautiously. Then his enthusiasm for whatever he is gnawing takes over and he get louder. And louder.

At 3.30 a.m., I give up and go in the guest room. There I can sleep. Tomorrow I will resume the squirrel battle.

And Today I'm Visiting Over at "Reading the Best of the Best"

Yes, it's phenomenally early to start doing author blog interviews - my novel LEARNING TO SWIM won't be published for another entire year - but when a young reader asks, I can't turn her down.

So today I am over at Kailia Sage's blog, answering a few questions. And there you can see a large image of my smiling face, a photo from a wedding a few years ago. Which I'm countering with a bike ride rest stop photo of me from the Seagull Century - on this one I was riding stoker on a tandem. (Yes, Coca-Cola is my secret fuel on long bike rides.)

Now This Is an Acknowledgment I Like

Here's how I'm listed in the acknowledgments in my friend Cat Connor's book KILLERBYTE:

Sara J Henry – intrepid net buddy, copyeditor, marvelous author, missing twin with a chocolate stash in the freezer.

Yes, I have a chocolate stash in the freezer, quite a large one. And Cat and I are so much alike we decided we must be twins, separated at birth.

When I needed a fast cold read of my manuscript before sending it to an agent (those darned agents requested fulls much faster than I anticipated), Cat dropped everything and read, between her own work and busy home life that includes a teenage boy who had just sprained his ankle, a moody grade schooler, and a bouncy preschooler. Of course I read her manuscripts before they go off to her publisher, and bleed red ink all over them (it's actually Track Changes in Word) and yell at her when her characters do something I think is a horrible mistake. Sometime she listens, and sometimes she doesn't, which is one of the reasons I like her. (We share a certain contrariness.)

I know her frustrations, the wine she likes, the chocolate desserts she bakes, the homemade meals she makes for her family, how long it takes to walk her youngest to preschool, how her teenage son's high school grad party went, the name of the neighbor who poses with fake blood for her book's promotional videos, her MIL problems, and how cute her grandkids are (yes, she has grandchildren about the same age as her youngest daughter). I read her delightfully funny and sometimes poignant blog, and she reads mine.

But I've never actually met her. And this is why I love the internet, because here in Vermont I can have a great friend and writing buddy far, far away, in New Zealand.

Let's Make This Easy: Your Holiday Shopping List

You don't really want to wade through crowded malls and line up at the post office to mail gifts, do you? Books are a wonderful gift and they're easy to ship - you can use www.usps.com Click n'Ship to print postage and just slip them in the your outgoing mail.

I'm lifting this list straight off my own website (self-plagiarizing is acceptable).

Crime/thriller:
Reed Farrel Coleman's Moe Prager series: WALKING THE PERFECT SQUARE, REDEMPTION STREET, THE JAMES DEANS, SOUL PATCH, EMPTY EVER AFTER - I just discovered this series and am happily making my way through them. Superbly, poignantly written. Why am I just now finding these? (Here's an NPR review.)

Michael Robotham's THE SUSPECT, LOST, THE NIGHT FERRY, SHATTER, BOMBPROOF - a great guy, a great writer. His books suck you in and put you right in the skin of the characters. You don't have to read them in order, but I'd recommend it.

Cat Connor's Ellie Conway series: KILLERBYTE, TERRORBYTE - these are available only in e-book format to read on your computer or iPod (via Mobipocket) or Kindle. The body count is a tad high for me, but I love Cat's breathless style of writing and Ellie's quirks. And yes, I love Cat's funny and poignant blog of her life in New Zealand juggling child-rearing (she has seven) and writing.

Kit Whitfield's BENIGHTED -  (this is called BAREBACK in the UK) - never mind that there are lycanthropes in this mystery - it's about human nature and prejudice and internal struggle. I loved it.


General interest:
Jamie Ford's HOTEL ON THE CORNER OF BITTER AND SWEET- Jamie and I met at Squaw Valley Writers Conference where we both had bits of writing that became our first sold novels. This is a lovely, lovely book about a 12-year-old Chinese boy in 1940s Seattle who sees his best friend, a 12-year-old Japanese girl, and her family disappear into an internment camp. OK, it's about a lot more than that. Buy it; read it.

Garth Stein's ART OF RACING IN THE RAIN - I must point out my dog Emma's photo under "Share your stories" on this page. And admit that after I won two of Garth's monthly contests in a row (I really wanted a signed book), they postponed them for a while. (Oops, I just won another.)

Ron McLarty's MEMORY OF RUNNING - I found this book when it was just a recorded book and got home and sat in the car with the player running because I couldn't turn it off. Finally I took the CD inside and played it while I painted walls. It's quirky; it's heart-rending; it's uplifting. I loved it.

A.S. King's DUST OF 100 DOGS - so you think you don't like books about reincarnation, pirates, the Cromwell invasion of Ireland, dogs, and misunderstood teens: you haven't read this one. I - could - not - put - it - down. Haven't felt this way about a book since I discovered Narnia as a 10-year-old.

Nonfiction (memoir and humor):
Quinn Cummings' NOTES FROM THE UNDERWIRE - any description of this book wouldn't do it justice. You'll laugh; you'll cry. It's exquisite, and all true. And, no, it's not a tell-all by a former child star. Yes, it's by a former child star, but it's about life, and all of us.

Jeannette Walls' THE GLASS CASTLE - I can close my eyes and see scenes from this memoir as if I were there - pretty much the most moving and inspiring book I've read. I've just started her new book, a "true-life novel" written from the viewpoint of her grandmother, HALF BROKE HORSES.

Oops, I Did It Again - Garth Stein is Gonna Blacklist Me

I just won another Garth Stein contest.

With this one I couldn't even use my secret book-related contest-solving trick - searching inside the book on Amazon for key words - because the pertinent pages of his ART OF RACING IN THE RAIN weren't listed. I actually had to solve the darned thing. (This was one of those puzzles with words running different directions - acrostics, I think.) No, I'm not especially fond of puzzles. I just like prizes.

I won this lovely mug. I'm considering this a reward to myself for turning in my novel manuscript recently. You can order your own mug here. And you can sign up for Garth Stein's newsletters here.

THE ART OF RACING IN THE RAIN is one of my favorite books - you'll have to read it to understand the significance of the zebra. So go buy the book. Buy several copies and give them away for holiday gifts.

(Err, I've previously won an Enzo cap and a signed copy of the book and of the CD. I do think they're going to blacklist me soon.)

Need a Friend? Annie, the Red Heeler, Loves People

Looking for a loyal, smart, dedicated companion? This great little girl is thought to be about 5 years old. Annie is a red Australian Cattle Dog who is house trained, knows some commands, loves car rides, and loves all people. Her previous owners had to give her up but said she is playful and was a great family pet. Give Annie a new home for the holidays!

She's currently being fostered near Philadelphia - to meet her, email alicia58@comcast.net.

Adoption requirements and a printable application form are here. The adoption fee ($150) includes neutering, inoculations, a Home Again microchip, new leash and collar, heartworm testing, and complimentary vet visit. Delaware County SPCA, 555 Sandy Bank Rd., Media PA 19063 (610) 566-1370.

How Do You Know When Your Manuscript is Ready?

You don't. Not really.

If you just finished it, the answer is easy: it's not. Not even close. Let it set two weeks minimum, revise it, send it to beta readers, revise again, polish, and so on.

But then how do you know when to send it out?

For me it was pretty much the same way I cook: When I'm tired of cooking, it's done. I'd been working on my manuscript so much that I simply couldn't fix it much more at that point, although it still had some problems. I was planning to attend an agent-rich conference in New York City, and wanted my queries in the hands of agents before then.

In a perfect world, I would have taken another month to revise. But I was running out of time and money - I'd given myself x amount of time to sell my book before getting back to the business of earning a living. (It's also possible that I would never have had a new perspective without getting agent and editor feedback.) So out went my queries, and all the cards fell just right, I ended up with a superb agent. And skipped the conference.

Could my manuscript have been better when it went out?

Yes. But it would have taken another month or two that I didn't have. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.

Did I lose some offers because of it? It's possible. But the agents and editors who offered had faith I could fix the parts that needed fixing.

And my gamble paid off. (I do consider myself very, very lucky.)

My best advice is to make your manuscript the best you can before sending it out. You need to find good readers, who will give honest but not soul-crushing advice. You need to figure out what advice works for your book, and which doesn't. And I'm a firm advocate of reading your book aloud. Yes, it takes a long time, but you're asking an agent and then a publisher to invest a lot of time and energy in you.

If you don't believe in yourself and your work, no one else will.

And Now I Must Say Nice Things About FairPoint Communications

On Thursday at 9.49 AM I blogged about some issues with FairPoint Communications (and having spent 37 minutes on hold before giving up).

At 10.57 AM, I had an email from FairPoint offering help. I didn't email back, because I wasn't ready to dig out my bill and explain the whole issue. Today another email from another customer service rep arrived at 3.55 PM. So I got out my paperwork, and sent off a reply detailing my issues at 5.11 PM, and went down to the kitchen to feed the dogs. The phone rang. FairPoint.

He was very friendly and issued me a credit and advised me that when I call in and hit the voice menu to choose "new service."

So, to be fair, I have to now blog about some pretty amazing customer service. Yes, the initial problem shouldn't have occurred, and no, I shouldn't have been on hold for 37 minutes, but this response goes a long way toward making up for it.

Baxter in Santa Monica is Looking for a Home

Baxter is a three-year-old Australian cattle dog wanting a good home. He's up-to-date with routine shots, house trained, and neutered. (From the length of his fur, I'm personally guessing he's part border collie.) This most likely will be a smart, loyal, and dedicated dog that needs some activity, such as fetching a ball or flying disc.

Contact Karma Rescue in Santa Monica, California - call  310-512-RUFF (7833) or email info@karmarescue.org - or just fill out an application.

How Fairpoint Communications Deals with Customer Problems

They just don't answer the phone.

I've been needing to call FairPoint, the company that now handles landlines here for a while, and picked up the phone to get it over with. I had three needs.

I needed to change my address.

I needed to ask why, when I'm on auto-pay and the front of my bills says DO NOT PAY, my bill isn't getting paid and the balance is rising.

And I needed to ask why I was recently charged $15 for a one-minute phone call because the long-distance service I'd ordered back in July at 12 cents per minute hadn't been activated.

But FairPoint just doesn't answer the phone. (I held out for 37 minutes before giving up.) And we wonder why they're going bankrupt.

Note: Yes, I would happily ditch my landline and simply avoid Fairpoint altogether, but I live in an area where electricity goes out frequently and cell phones don't work, so I need a back-up phone line.

Note 2: FairPoint may not answer their customer service phones, but they certainly monitor blogs. With a few hours of this post, I got an email from them, and another one today. I've sent details of my issues so will keep you posted on how and if they're resolved.